The semi-lethal injection machine

Having scoured the house I think I now have enough plastic piping, clamps, drainage taps, blood bags and needles to construct a semi-lethal injection machine. I say Semi-lethal, because I think it'll be only thing to keep me going.

I have not had the full schedule through for the World Cup but the timings posted so far on the web mean it's going to be a bit of a hectic four days. I don't know how much they expect me to cover, but with a couple of other projects mulling around my head that I want to achieve it could near kill me, or make me very grumpy at least.

I know many may say, but you're only taking photographs. However this will be both a mental and physical challenge. Thursday will be a shorter day, followed by two 13 hour shifts and a similar scenario on the fourth when drinking is factored in. Downloading, backing up files and wiring out any images that need to go, will mean little sleep. I’m wondering why I bothered to book a hotel. I should just sleep at the venue, a wandering hobo photographer. But like Margaret Thatcher I can get by on very little sleep when I need to. Just don’t’ ask me to come up with a sound economic policy at the end of it. Day five will see me a gibbering mess, Blood shot troglodyte eyes, a bent and twisted posture. Andy Serkis would do well to study me if they ever get round to film 'The Hobbit'.

However it's a challenge I'm looking forward to. Relish even. In my minds eye I know the three shots I need to come away with. It's this adrenaline rush that should see me through it. It's all or nothing, only one chance. That's what makes it so exciting and the buzz I get from photography.

As a back-up plan I will build a semi-lethal injection machine. A device to pump strong, black coffee direct in to my veins. Giving me the caffeine kick needed to complete the task in hand. I know the risks. I've read the medical books and am fully aware of the consequences. As long as I don't get the coffee mixed up with the apple sauce I'll be ok. Now, that stuff will kill you.


  1. Your troglodyte eye comment reminded me of when I was doing a two week photography job in New York a few years back which also involved no to very little sleep most of the time. Both me and a colleague burst blood vessels in our eyes which had never happened to either of us before. Not even when doing a 24hr photo shoot in Sweden whilst being up for over 60 hrs.
    And people seem to think photographing and filming are glamorous jobs!


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