No Football Tonight.

Watching the World Cup has been an interesting experience. I say the World Cup rather than England, as I can’t face watching them.  Not because of the tension, hiding behind the sofa during a penalty shoot-out, much like one would hiding from the Daleks, but because their style of football doesn’t appeal to me. We seem to scramble the odd goal rather than precision strikes with any flair. To be honest I’d much prefer to watch a Dalek football match. The clumsy machines toppling over the odd divot. Wobbling on the grass, the word exterminate getting ever higher as they career down the pitch and in to the box to exterminate the opponent’s goalie, or shall we call them a Galek? The referee wouldn’t dare issue any yellow or red cards, in fear of their life. And instead of all the pushing and shoving in the penalty box during a corner it’d just be mass Dalek genocide. Yes, I would much prefer to watch that, than over paid prima-donnas toppling at the slightest breeze.

Actually Football may not be the best game for them. I’m not sure of the mechanics of Daleks but they seem to prefer flatter, smoother floors, even the ones that fly. Roller Derby would be a much better game for them to play, well insulated within their metal shells, crashing and bashing their way round the track and there’s even more referees to exterminate.

Roller Derby has permeated in to most countries around the world, in one form or another, when will it reach Skaro? I predict that within the next five years the Hydra will be won by a team from Skaro. After all, what referee would argue with them? Exterminate.

www.roller-derby-on-film.co.uk