Panda Porn
Listening to the radio today one would assume that nothing is happening in the world today. This would also go for the two Pandas in Edinburgh zoo, Ching Ching and No70, Beef with Chinese mushrooms in oyster sauce, whatever they are called. Who still don’t seem to be getting it on.
No wonder really. They’ve turned off the Panda cam but the keepers are keeping a close eye. So the general public can’t watch but these so called keepers or perverts can. Hidden in the bushes getting their kicks watching Pandas pandering. I assume that’s the Panda equivalent of dogging. Who would want to perform?
One news report claimed that the Polar bears were playing with each other but not much else. I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure I can tell the difference between a Panda and a Polar bear. But perhaps this is the problem. If one is a Panda, the other a Polar, no wonder the magic isn’t happening.
I believe Pandas can get pretty narky (I’ve seen those programmes with David Attenborough) but I’m sure a Polar bear could quite easily take one in a straight fight. Or even with one paw tied behind its back.
If the keepers come back in the morning and there is only one bear left, looking pretty smug with itself, with what looks like tomato sauce smeared around its muzzle, I think we know what happened.
So newscasters give it a rest. The species is doomed. I’m with Chris Packham on this one. F**k ‘em. Tell us something important.
No wonder really. They’ve turned off the Panda cam but the keepers are keeping a close eye. So the general public can’t watch but these so called keepers or perverts can. Hidden in the bushes getting their kicks watching Pandas pandering. I assume that’s the Panda equivalent of dogging. Who would want to perform?
One news report claimed that the Polar bears were playing with each other but not much else. I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure I can tell the difference between a Panda and a Polar bear. But perhaps this is the problem. If one is a Panda, the other a Polar, no wonder the magic isn’t happening.
I believe Pandas can get pretty narky (I’ve seen those programmes with David Attenborough) but I’m sure a Polar bear could quite easily take one in a straight fight. Or even with one paw tied behind its back.
If the keepers come back in the morning and there is only one bear left, looking pretty smug with itself, with what looks like tomato sauce smeared around its muzzle, I think we know what happened.
So newscasters give it a rest. The species is doomed. I’m with Chris Packham on this one. F**k ‘em. Tell us something important.
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